We took her at 60 days old, again right from the hospital, and her adoption papers were signed in January. Can you tell me how you were chosen? You can ask for a removal on a defined time frame from right now to maybe a month so they can figure it out. I understand there is an emotional risk involved. A Safe Surrender baby definitely seems like the "safest" bet, but those babies do not come up very often and the wait list is very long (for the very reason that they are the safest bet). We had to wait until he was about 15 days old for the Safe Surrender to expire. Do some homework. But, you have to remember that you are in the moment, trying to do the best you can for that child, and trying to give them the best foundation that they can have, no matter the outcome. So you will always run the risk of bonding with a child that will have to "go back.". Although I wouldn't date a woman with kids. We did lose him, for about 3 weeks to a family member. Things that make me want to adopt would be related to population. Follow-up: as someone with experience fostering to adopt, do you have any opinions/insights on going through a private agency vs. the state? There's so much more than that. The last thing the world needs is more of me. I want a family but, as a woman, I would definitely prefer not to have to go through pregnancy and childbirth. Then, surprise! Kids can go back to Mom and Dad. And while there are babies and toddlers (I want to start no later than age 2 in order to get experience raising a kid, before I start fostering kids and teens) in foster care, most of them are not eligible for adoption yet so I run the risk of getting attached to a kid who I will ultimately have to give back to his/her parents. There area surprising number of infants available, especially if you don't have a need to "match." But as I once heard a wise man say, the only thing worse than a family that should adopt but doesn't, is a family that shouldn't adopt but does. I would love nothing more than to adopt an infant for us to raise, but it's extraordinarily expensive. Not to mention, there's the prospect of cleaning up smelly messes as your little angel regards you with large, innocent eyes. They needed stitches, but the recovery was more painful than the injury. related to the adoption. I wouldn't advise borrowing money to adopt, but if it's something you can save up some money for to handle the necessary expenses, I don't think it would be financially foolish to do so. Misconception: “An adopted child won’t be loved as much as a biological child.” This is a relatively common concern that some adoptive families and birth parents share before entering into an adoption. i care much less about physical problems as long as independence is easily possible at an early age. Thank you so much for your insights. In some cases, older children are more likely to have emotional/behavioral issues, but on the other hand, tons of my friends have given birth to babies who end up with horrible behavior...so I think it depends on the child, and probably the parent. But more importantly, there's the financial cost to have a baby or dog. Just something to keep in mind, and again, this was typed with no intentions of disrespecting you. His biological parents had 14 days from the day they surrendered him to ask for him back. "The child tax credit, which is available if you have a dependent child under the age of 17, was increased to a $2,000 credit under the new tax law. I really appreciate your taking the time to respond to me, and your input. Or if I couldn't have kids at all. Our son was a case like that. The emotional expense is definitely something I had considered, but I really appreciate you taking the time to respond with your thoughts. I feel like if I feel so strongly about adoption that I should do it, no matter the cost. I feel like there's enough people, and I don't feel like we need to make more. Adoptive parents have the same rights and obligations as a child's birth parents. It was no trivial amount of money by any means. I just would rather provide a home for existing children vs creating new children. Things that would want me to have my own child would be things like him taking on my traits and carrying out my bloodline. We are licensed as a foster-to adopt home for several years, but we just wait and wait. You're definitely not preventing that baby from being raised in foster care or something, you know? Depending on your state, they may actually give you a stipend until the child is 18, college costs depending on the child's age when adopted, etc. I feel like with all the craziness in the world today that I would rather give a child that already exists a home rather than creating a brand new person. It didn't come without risk though. The thought of one's lover's breasts swelling and starting to lactate is supposed to be very appealing to a fair number of us, maybe even most of us, and, I have to admit, while I'm not exactly sure how I'd feel about it actually happening to a woman I loved, well, the idea is something that I'm curious about. In the end, he'd be like any other kid except I chose him in particular to support. It's still not a guarantee, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. This is where my fear of adopting such a young child from foster care stems from. Look no further than how adoptive parents interact with adopted children: Accord… (Interracial adoption brings its own set of positives and negatives, but that's another topic.). The key, if you're looking for straight adoption of an infant is going with your gut about the birth family. i really don't know how i think about non-white children though. 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